Snap the Leprechaun


So, I just happened to see that my last boyfriend has a new girlfriend, thanks to facebook. It was six months ago, so I am truly happy for him. It is the way of life. People move on and forward. He is a great person, a beautiful soul, and deserves the best. I just didn’t particularly need to see them sharing a bottle of wine and feeding each other sushi on an exotic island to get that, you know?

I told Clyde about it and he was logical, sensible and absolutely right about me making the choice to be friends with him on facebook. For me, I like this new relationship.

Clyde is the definition of friendship on fire.

I want to talk to him all the time, about ridiculous and silly things, serious and hurtful things, and even about his new glasses, that he is roaming the Lenscrafters looking for right now, afraid he may buy the wrong kind and look like he is straight out of the 80s.

Personally, I think he would be absolutely adorable in 80s glasses, but I think he would be adorable in almost anything, and he just doesn’t get this, or take it seriously.

Anyways, tomorrow is St. Patricks Day and a favorite new holiday of mine, mainly because of the introduction to Snap the Leprechaun. I

n my twenties, St. Patricks Day was all about drinking green beer, getting hammered, and if your really lucky, roaming Savannah while drunk men holler while girls flash their tits for beads. Whoever came up with this concept had to be entirely male and most definitely, pure genius.

Last year, Snap the Leprechaun visited Kat’s kindergarten class. He was a sneaky little thing, destroying the room, throwing toilet paper everywhere, and even turned the toilet water green! She has been waiting for tomorrow on pins and needles asking me questions like,

“Does Snap have little bitty fingers and does he pinch hard?”

“Why does Snap make the toilet water green? Does he drink from it or does his pee pee come out that way?” She gasped after this one, her eyes wide open in amazement, at her own thought.

“DO YOU THINK SNAP DRINKS OUT THE TOILET BOWL LIKE SAM?” The amazement ended and the next question already was being followed by,

“Does Snap hop on one foot or two?”

“Are Snap’s germs green?”

“If I ran every day, how long would it take for me to be fast enough to catch Snap being sneaky?”

I can’t think fast enough for her and whenever I think of something clever, she is already way past me, asking the next question.

So, we are laying out her outfit for tomorrow, which she struggles to wear green because Snap might pinch her if she doesn’t, but in the end, we decided to follow the Holiday rules.

Awwwwhhh Snap!

Happy St. Patricks Day.

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