25 Reasons I may be crazy

25 Reasons I wonder if I might be crazy….

25. I can’t listen to Phish without hallucinating.

24. I will risk my life while driving if an incredible line of poetry jumps in my head. Not just red lights, but I have jumped off many a moving treadmill as well to look for a pen.

23. I always wonder why people are waving at me.

22. I secretly want to be friends with Kat’s first grade teacher. I want to make a move but I’m afraid she will think its either because she’s handicapped or because I want special treatment for Kat. Truth is, she seems awesome!

21. When its just me in the house, Naked Time is so on!

20. I’ve been told when it comes to sex, I think like a man. My own mother told me this! Weird.

19. You can be the most unattractive person in the world, but if you can make me laugh till I cry, I will fall in love.

18. When I’m alone with my girls, we do “So You Think You Can Dance” routines and I pretend I am Mary, Nigel, or a guest judge. I do best with Contemporary. I think Kat and Lola think I’m serious.

17. I am a crystal girl and collect stones for different energy healing modalities.

16. I try to convince myself daily I am seeing signs I should move back to Folly Beach. I will see a palm tree or a South Carolina tag and say I KNEW IT!! I KNEW IT!!

15. I am told on a regular basis by all friends and family members that I am indeed, crazy. You start wondering after awhile.

14. I despise most children but am totally in love with my own. There are the exceptions, but I find most are annoying, disobedient, snotty screaming kids. I have been told to blame the parents.

13. I dress up for PTA meetings hoping to meet a man! I haven’t yet, but I think the fantasy helps me get through it!

12. At meetings for Kat’s Girl Scouts, I sit around with the mothers and wonder if I am in a Saturday Night Live Skit.

11. I can just wonder about something, and it will appear like magic! I sometimes even scare myself. For instance, I will wonder about someone from the past and there will be a friend request the next day! Kat has the same gift. She will name a friend she wants to play with and see them ten minutes later at Kroger! Its a little nutty.

10. I absolutely adore gay men. I miss having close gay friends.

9. I am always checking out old dudes at the gym, not for me, but for my mom. I don’t know what I’d do if I found the perfect one, but I have contemplating saying she looks like my sister…still working on how I would talk her into it when I find the perfect one!

8. I order food and wish I had ordered something else after ten bites. I have been made fun of a lot when it comes to this one.

7. I walk behind my ex husband in stores because we are really close but he doesn’t want the “ladies” to get the wrong idea. He actually pretended not to know me at Pet smart.

6. I rap. Crump. Lock. Pop. NOT VERY WELL!!!! Okay I suck but its my passion fo shizzle!

5. I told my ex husband when I was married that I regretted having never gone out with a black man. Did not go over very well.

4. I think I would have waited tables for fun. Now that is bizarre, even to me.

3. I am SO done having babies until I saw the sweetest infant today and I just melted and smelled her little head and freaked over her little fingers and OH GOD, here I go again. REMINDER, do not pick up infants.

2. I love textual relationships.

1. I am 30 days off Xanax, a drug prescribed for anxiety. Therefore, I am up at 1:52 a.m. writing facebook notes on why I might be insane. Extremely proud of myself, and at the same time, sleep deprived..

6 thoughts on “25 Reasons I may be crazy

  1. 30 days off Xannex – that is quite a feat. Enough to make anyone a bit nutty. I myself have not been on Xannex or its south african cousing lexotan. My mother-in-law loves them. I guess you could say I’ve been off Xannex for almost forty years – imagine just how nutty I am.

    Seriously – well done.

    My only reference to something similar to being on Xannex is that one weekend while I was in the Navy and we took a trip. I can’t remember where we went, or what we did, or how long we were actually away.

    After that weekend I decided it would be better to remember – even if the memories aren’t that good, at least then I did live and so nowadays I just occasionaly pull my American friend Jack closer, don’t like Jim, and we spend some time, but just enough so that he may not rob me of my nutty-ness and for the rest I try to make sense of it, slowly and clumsily.

    Sometimes I would spend just a little bit extra time in bed on a Saturday morning – just enough so that I can give the deep sadness an opportunity to boil forth.

    For the rest I embrace it. Life.

    Now I’m going to write some, another escape-teqnique I’ve developed.

  2. bit of a long comment, but i saw you liked textual relationships, so i just thought I could keep on talking – the great thing about textual relationships are that you can stop reading whenever you want to. did I mention i’ve been in bed for three days and I am bored out of my mind?

  3. Oh man. This is an attempt to upload drafts into categories so it looks like I just wrote them…hmm.. how do you upload according to a date published, if you will, Mr. Bored?

  4. P.S. I love long comments..It shall be on my 25 things I love post, which I should write, to avoid posting long comments on others pages, out of boredom. 🙂

  5. i have no idea how you pre-post, so you can go on holiday and seem to be dilligently posting every day. I’m like a blogging pre-schooler. I did help my zuko start a blog of some of her pictures, zukopienaar.wordpress.com, that was fun.

    so are you planning to go on a long trip & let your blog run all by itself?

    or have you, now that you’ve reached time magazine’s world’s 10 most favorite blogs status, sold out to the man & plan to earn gazillions through blog advertising?

    or did you, rivited by insomnia, write 3987 posts, and want to release them 1 every hour for the next uhm 150 days?

    did you know you can have your blogs header picture rotate?

    just upload more pictures, in the same place, click random and away you go.

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