“How to Learn Poetry” with a Personality Quiz.


“Call me Cheezy, Call me a Fool,

I like my men Nerdy, my chicken Spicy,

dr. P is my h20, the fizzy saliva I call Drool.

crafts, apps, and starbucks be my positive Blood Type

juicy coutore, from goodwill, is the toilet Fabric of my Wipe.

widgets, strobes, tumbler, are equal to my Jizz

But nothin in life don’t thrill me, like a Thelma “Personality Quizz.”

That, was for the Premium Members, a special rap, since I forgot to send your newsletter out last month. Oh, wait, I did.

It was titled, “Bend Over.”

For the less wealthy of you, I am giving a special top ten best ways to bend over just for you, for subscribing today.

Now, back to Thelma, who gives the greatest quizzes, not Cosmo style, but usually discovering if you are Narcissistic, Borderline, Schitzoid, ADD, a huge lover of psychology, we talk “Silence of the Lambs” until the sun goes down.

I’m her perfect crazy friend, which she makes me laugh so much from her astonishment over the last six months getting to know me, has been,

“Huh. Um, so, you do actually stop talking?”

“OMG. I see it. I think you talked like a fast maniac only when your nervous!”

“Wait a second, wait a minute. Her big psychological discovery today was that I might actually, well, she hates to tell me, but, logical.”

I laughed in her face. She explained the rational brain, how it works, how I like sequence and organized plans, was book smart, and bigger words to basicly say I could possibly be linear.

The Collector says in fact I am, but I just don’t know when it’s happening.

So, we took the “Please Understand Me II, Personality Quiz” and we are eerily similar, a page separating us, just into a healer, and me, the Champion.

Turns out that little quiz described me perfectly, even to myself, and with exception to the several Thelma grunts over the shit she calls “negative” and “harsh” compared to the other types list of traits.

It turns out only a few percent, a rare amount of “Champions” are out there, people who take pride in a cause, will stop at nothing to create emotional experiences to lead for personal growth, can be vivacious and rowdy, getting everyone hurdled together for a meeting, but forget to actually plan it.

Out of all the types, the “Champion” hates conformity, subordination, although a pleaser of people and crowds, finds purpose and meaning in standing for something, if not everything.

Well, seeing as I have never been a conformist, love passionate Spiritual leaders and can write a mean rap, it takes Thelma in 70 questions, totals up the embodiment of my Spirit.

I love studying the way people think, and it helps, to study our many porcupines in life, to make us aware that they are as important in their ideals and beliefs as we are, that they matter, that we are part of a big unit, not one not affecting the other, and vice versa.

I kind of like being a “Champion,” annoying her already I’m sure, my 800 dollar computer cost a manager took care of, my text in high “Champion” style, was pouting in a three hour Kroger line not much after,discussing all the people’s lives in the small circle of strangers waiting for blood pressure medicine, vitamins for pregnancy, allergy relief, and unfortunately for them, I have come down with the usual ADD, or blabber mouth.

I should have told them to sign up for my plan, to see if my issue of ways to “Bend Over,” could entice them to heal arthritis, hay fever, too much salt.

Every Champion needs a cause, I just can’t decide which one is worthy.

That’s what I have Thelma for, and thank God, people, for that.

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