“Creative or Schizo?” Please Apply

I rarely engage in argumentative debates, dislike confrontation, and occasionally feel bad for the dude who is having road rage, knowing how it feels to have “one of those days.”

I have never written or called an establishment and love to hear how people think from all walks of life, for it is in our differences I find the most beautiful and satisfying relationships.

I don’t want a walking talking me, God.
It’s hard enough to be me, much less live with me.

I want a logical grounded linear man to remind me sweetly I left my Pibb can on top of the car again, to kindly hold my keys, help me find my phone AGAIN, and yes, I find emotionally stable and logical women and men for the most part, refreshing.

BUT, today, TODAY, I clicked on my email, excited to see “CREATIVITY” as the headline.
This Dr. was addressing creativity and its relation to what she refers to as “SCHIZO,” a phrase that did make me laugh.

I thought there was a link most definitely, just look at poets and tell me the ones who didn’t kill themselves, and I’ll tell you they probably weren’t any good.

Depression comes with the territory, my friends.

But, when I saw that the research to this puzzling linear problem “creatives” make in the world, a scientific mind can not seem to make sense of what they do not understand, I have just had enough of it.

First off, the name is MARGARITA? Damn must be hard for a logical person to be taken seriously for I’m thinking of downing a few reading this shit myself.

<a href=”http://05/21/the-link-between-creativity-and-eccentricity/“>The Link Between Creativity and Eccentricity</a>
Associate Editor

In describing links of “SCHZO” abnormal weird challenged behaviors, and in able to link them to science for explanation of chemical imbalance, these are the reasons listed as traits leading to mental illness.. I was thinking maybe cutting, harming oneself or others, unable to function in large crowds, however, I was quite off..
Margarita states,

“Albert Einstein picked up cigarette butts off the street to get tobacco for his pipe; Howard Hughes spent entire days on a chair in the middle of the supposedly germ-free zone of his Beverly Hills Hotel suite; the composer Robert Schumann believed that his musical compositions were dictated to him by Beethoven and other deceased luminaries from their tombs; and Charles Dickens is said to have fended off imaginary urchins with his umbrella as he walked the streets of London.”

Well, I was a little irritated, wondering why no one talks about Albert EInstein’s troubling cigarette butt quirk, but whatever.
Then, Margarita started to really agitate me stating the following,

“Cognitive disinhibition also provides some clues about why highly creative people turn inward and don’t focus much on day-to-day tasks:

Reduced cognitive filtering could explain the tendency of highly creative people to focus intensely on the content of their inner world at the expense of social or even self-care needs. (Beethoven, for example, had difficulty tending to his own cleanliness.) When conscious awareness is overpopulated with unusual and unfiltered stimuli, it is difficult not to focus attention on that inner universe.”

I started talking to my computer screen, pissed by the time I got to the bottom of this bullshit, and for the first time, ever, I went off on a blogger.
I never do that.
I like to believe I’m open to all beliefs, but nope, Margarita proved me wrong.

Margaritas do that a lot actually.

Here is what I wrote…

“Wow, kind person. I saw this in my email and laughed at the title at such an interesting place in my life, an artist, a writer, a professional photographer. As a creative since birth, I also have been labeled, not Schizo, but pretty much, by a very linear grounded family of very beautiful, athletic, intelligent well abiding citizens.

They believe in education, church on sundays, and I have been “crazy” my entire life, but to be a divorced 33 year old woman who is deleted from facebook because I appear manic from working sleepless nights to create art, because I refuse systems, institutions, and challenge all that I am told, am not “well.”

Looking back, I sadly I went to a therapist for “them” to feel better, knowing they can’t possibly be creative, as I logical, which is why I feel compelled to respond to….”Of course, we know that not everyone who’s weird is creative. What’s the missing link?”

What, exactly is weird and why do you have the research to judge it, for the world is built to support your beautiful gifts but I ask you, are you put on medication for being obsessed with lab rats? Why aren’t labels made for people who spend days and nights and years in jobs they hate, in a life they dread? Wouldn’t that be more insane? I would want a diagnosis.

Why are “eccentric” people no strangely odd for dream interpretation than Harvard grads who discuss formulas for fun? I personally think if you stare at a screen without a people skill in your body, maybe there should be a room and a key for you, a drug should be demanded given to you at seven years of age for SITTING still in that horrid English class, to follow rules only sheep would see fit and dare not make change, but they are of course, “NOT SCHIZO.”

And thank God, I will sit with Martin Luther, Stephen King, Banksy, Eminem, David Blaine, Meryl Streep, and drink from the knowledge what you shall offer in a book but have never lived.

This is no way personal for I believe you are as important to my growth as yours, to collaborate and value the parts of others we don’t understand. I find it a hard pill to swallow that the smartest people in the world aren’t musicians that can HEAR the notes in the right places.

To have the courage to be a stand up comedian or an improv actor amongst your critics, to risk failure within your soul, to be devoured by the likes of you? Maybe you would struggle with anxiety as well.

What if we researched the insanity of your illness for not writing the right speech, knowing how to sing, how to make art?

Would you take a pill and a label, if you didn’t make anyone laugh the way Will Ferrell does, who I hope also sees ghosts if it puts me in on the floor in laughter.

I doubt anyone gives a shit who wrote this blog when you die, but that would be eccentric, wouldn’t it?”

I know that I responded personally to this Dr. person, but I am passionate about ALL types of brilliance being accepted, sick of judgements, sick of taboo.

Speaking of SICK, I am SICK of trying to find a diagnosis to feel right with the world, the anxiety and personality disorders being handed out by uneducated and ignorant doctors, too left brained to see what is right in front of them.

Maybe not Aristotle, but I am taking the words of Eminem as back up on this one.

“I’m gonna be who I set out to be, without a doubt, undoubtedly, and all of you who look down on me, I’m tearing down your balcony.”


7 thoughts on ““Creative or Schizo?” Please Apply

  1. Will the real Katie please stand up?…. please…? I have been reading your blog for awhile and
    Your writing is fantastic, but geez!!! too much allegory! You live in the shadows of allegory only coming out when you are mad, smashing owls or sending nasty emails….
    I still can’t figure out if you got remarried or got a dog….if you are a go-go dancer or a bad mom…or what…..Your writing has become this confusing allegorical rambling which alienates the reader…
    The reader never really gets to know you…which is too bad….Unless maybe you have become an angry, bitter person…

  2. I love that you’re writing again. ‘Being’ & ‘becoming’, exactly who we are, discovering who we are, what we love, what energizes us, what we cherish & hope for & finding synergy with our ‘being’ & ‘doing’ … perhaps that is the journey of life … the only meaningful way to live. Love you for your honosty.

  3. No, I am not angry or bitter.
    You are absolutely correct in everything you said.
    I wrote like you said, from my heart, all of me.
    I found out really quick that not living in allegory was giving away myself, my life, and everyone around me was staring and breathing into my space, my words, MY LIFE was being reposted amongst coworkers, brought up on first dates, and I swore I would smash this thing down and start fresh.
    I just haven’t been able to let go yet.
    What if my ex reads this?
    What if my estranged mother finds out I believe she has NPD?
    What if the conversation I had with my best friend gets read by the wrong member in her family?
    I did get told by a dear friend her father in law was up all night reading my blog in a parking lot.
    It got to be too much, too damn much.
    I want to reveal all of me, but made a choice to live in metaphoric land for awhile.
    What do you suggest, honest reader?
    Your input is refreshing.

  4. And also, does it matter?
    Does it really matter if its a dog or a lover or a friend?
    I meant to put a distance between my readers and I, shit, half of them are related to me.
    Speak up, I’m curious.
    Do the details really matter?

  5. HELL NO the details don’t matter! That’s what makes you SO freaktasticaly amazing! FLY YOUR FREAK FLAG!!!!

    I get this joy in my heart when I see your blog in my inbox. MY heart skips with joy to say oh hells yeah there she is, what the heavens does this girl have to say today???!!

    I used to be tired of being “labeled” but I don’t give a damn cuz you know why????????????????????

    MY GIVE A DAMNS BUSTED!!! lol muahahhahahahwahwhahwahahahahahahahahwahwhahahahahwahwhahahahahwahwhahahahahwahwhahahahahwahwhahahahahwahwhahahahahwahwhahahahahwahwhahahahahwahwha……
    (This could go on for hours so Ill stop here with the insidious laughter)

    GROKKER! yes! Someone like me! Yes! Someone who is weaird and unique and creative and all that a bag oh doritos (snap snap)


    Round of applause (claps hands in a circular motion)

    Keep it up! Not everyone will get you….isn’t that the point??

    (Ps I read the link. Now, THAT girl is crazy)

  6. OMG.
    “Fly Your Freak Flag!”
    I have to tell you the truth.
    The above comment was a little harsh and I was hoping I would see you on here, my fierce crazy loyal kind bloggin freaky freak friend!

  7. Come on! You know me! Loyal and ready to fight in your corner any day!! POW POW! Bring it on!! We are the “Heroes” of the world. “Brave New World” We can live in this world and be accepted, even if it is from our own kind!

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