Inconvenient Truth


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Tonight I think about what it means to live a convenient lie or an inconvenient truth. We all tell lies of convenience, to ourselves mainly, in one form or another. I have lied my way thru addiction, codependency and bad relationships. There have been the failed business attempts, the grandeur gestures of Motherhood to overcompensate the days I cannot be in my kids day to day lives. 
It is an inconvenient truth to admit at 36, again, I am recovering from another failed relationship, am flat broke, trying to climb my way to Spiritual and Financial freedom, but can I say it’s different this time?
I can.
I can say that looking at my truths or hiding behind them don’t change the situation I am in at all. But, truth has a mysterious key to self fulfillment. Steps to take action, for healing, for living become glaring in comparison to hiding behind a mask for acceptance or approval. That life is exhausting.
Do people poke and prod and exchange glances or put their own sense of doom on top of you?
Sure they do.
But, I can handle it.
It is humbling, rewarding and gratifying to live in the light of who you are, mistakes and all, inconvenient or not. It is the difference between stumbling through a dark house or having lit cinnamon candles and little fairy night lights plugged in the girls’ rooms.
The day to fully lit rooms full of sunshine and guidance may or may not appear, but I am light on my feet and welcome my little steps of inconvenience, either way.

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